Apocalypse
by sheisdifferent
Summary: Donna and Harvey face up to the fallout of Faye Richardson finding out about their relationship.


Here's the thing.

What gets them noticed isn't really anything at all, at least not to her standards.

She had decided early on, that there would be no obvious romantic overtures at work. It was important to her, to be professional. She had more to prove than he did, even if he didn't see it that way, and she didn't want anyone to have any reason to point fingers at them for any reason.

So it wasn't anything. Sure, maybe they were standing a little too close (*personal space had become almost non existent at this point, turns out when you've been wanting to be near someone for 13 goddamn years, you kinda run with it when you are finally allowed to*) but they hadn't been behaving inappropriately, not even touching at all. To be honest, it was the same way they had behaved many, many times before, back when she was his secretary and after.

So she was surprised when she came into her office, late in the evening, after speaking with Samantha about her current case, to see Faye Richardson sitting in wait for her. Her step didn't falter, despite her surprise, and she carried on, going to sit behind her desk and facing the woman. 'Faye. It's late. What can I do for you?' She asked, pleasantly. Faye looked at her steadily, something calculating in her eyes. 'Donna. I was on my way out, but I wanted to speak to you without too many people around to overhear. I have spent the day looking into your file. I found it interesting, to say the least. Secretary to Harvey Specter for 12 years, give or take. You were very loyal to him, even to the point of hiding evidence to protect him, I believe?' She looks at Donna, who can't hide her surprise that Faye knows about that, eyebrow quirked. 'You would be surprised at the things you can find out, if you just talk to the right people. And now you find yourself here, COO. An esteemed position, to be sure. And one none other than Harvey himself, put you in.' Faye finishes. Donna blinks, face back to being impassive. 'He did. The duties undertaken as COO, were ones I had been performing daily, without the title. I believed that I deserved the promotion, and he agreed. I'm very good at my job.' She finishes, lacing her fingers together on the desk in front of her.

Faye nods. 'Yes, that seems to be the general consensus around here. What concerns me, is that you have no relevant qualifications to perform or deserve the title, which brings me to the reason I am here. Did you get your promotion because you are sleeping with Harvey Specter?' Donna freezes, feeling the icy hot spark of anger in her chest. 'Excuse me?!' She snaps. Faye looks at her cooly. 'You heard me. You don't think I see the way you are with each other? If you are trying to hide the fact that you are sleeping together, you are doing a poor job of it. I've seen this before, really it's the oldest story in the book. Now I'll ask you again, did you get here because you were sleeping with your boss?'

Donna remains speechless for several seconds, trying to remain calm, even as rage fills her. When she speaks, she is proud that none of that filters into her voice. 'Then I will answer it. No. I got my position because I Goddamn earned it. Not because I slept my way into it. As I told you before, Faye, I am excellent at my job, I may not have the qualifications as you pointed out, but after 13 years working in this firm, it's fair to say I know the in's and outs of this place better than anybody. And that is what makes me qualified for my position, far more than any piece of paper.' She finishes, looking steadily at the woman across from her. Faye nods. 'I'm not disputing that, Donna. As I said, the general consensus around here is that you are indeed, excellent at your job. I'm not threatening that. If you say you didn't get in here by any untoward means, then I'll take your word for it.' She stands, smoothing her blazer. Donna releases a quiet breath, anger still coursing through her, as she stands to face the woman.

Faye turns to leave, but before she does, she looks at Donna again. 'I know you all think I'm the bad guy here. And maybe to you, I am, but I have a job to do. A job I am excellent at, just as you are. This firm needs to be made to heal, integrity and strength brought back into it. Integrity is not the COO and a name partner sleeping together. If you want those things back too, which I know you do, you'll end it.' She finishes looking steadily at Donna. Donna bristles. 'Our relationship is none of your business.' She says hotly. Faye smiles cooly. 'On the contrary Miss Paulsen, it most certainly is. It's unethical, for one, and it makes the firm look bad, unprofessional. If you want me gone, and this firm back on its feet, you'll end it' and with that, she's gone, Donna too stunned to have any reply at the ready.

Donna sits heavily back in her chair, a thousand thoughts and feelings flashing through her. Anger, that the woman even dared to question her position, and how she got it. Resignation, that what she said had a kernel of truth in it. The firm was on shaky ground. They had all lost themselves, in one way or the other, these last few years. Jessica's disbarment, Mike's trial, and every other situation that they had found themselves in, which veered more in the murky grey middle of ethical, rather than the clear black or white, right or wrong, clear picture. What she was feeling most of all though, was fear. Could Faye really have a point? Were Harvey and her really causing a problem for the firms reputation? She didn't think so. She knew they had been discreet. The only thing she could have seen, was the same behaviour they had been exhibiting for 13 years, and wasn't that ironic? Now, that they had finally crossed that line into *more, what got them noticed wasn't a kiss, or even a hug. It was their natural dynamic.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, letting the panic and tumultuous thoughts strum through her, but the next thing she knew Harvey was strolling into her office 'Hey, Donna, did you know where...' he cut himself off when she looked at him, and he saw how pale and shocked she looked. He quickened his steps, heading for her purposefully, face suddenly full of concern. 'Hey... you look as if you've seen a ghost, what's going on?' He finishes, softly. She stands up abruptly, and puts her hands up, as if warding him from coming any closer. His face collapses into a frown. 'Donna...' he begins, before she stops him. 'Harvey, you can't be in here' she says seriously. He shakes his head in confusion, taking a step toward her. 'What are you..' Donna takes a step back. 'Faye knows. About us.' She says quietly. Harvey frowns again. 'What? How?' He says. Donna sighs, a bitter little chuckle falling from her lips. 'Her keen observation skills, apparently. I came in here, and she was waiting for me. Basically accused me of sleeping with you to get my job.' She says with trepidation, knowing exactly how he'd react to that statement. She isn't disappointed.

His jaw tightens with anger, eyes losing the softness he wears around her, and going hard. 'Goddamnit, how dare she?! That woman needs to be put in her place, I can't believe she said that to you, what right does she have to come in here and accuse you of something so ridiculous! I'm going to go see her right now and set her straight!' Donna puts her hand up. 'Harvey, no you aren't.' She says softly. He looks at her, incredulous. 'The hell I'm not! She's not going to get away with that, I won't let her talk to you that way!' He says, voice raising in anger. 'And that's exactly why you can't! It'd be proving her point. She told me..' her voice cracks a little. '...she told me that you and I shouldn't be together. That it's unprofessional, and harmful to the firm. If you go in there now, you'd be giving her exactly what she wants' She finishes, looking at him pointedly. He looks back at her, anger draining slowly from his face, replaced with shock. 'She said that to you? About us?' He says, voice low. Donna nods, turning to look out the window, miserably. 'The thing I keep coming back to...is she wrong? Everything that has happened to bring her here, I know it wasn't all us, but a big part of it was. We broke privilege and it almost got you disbarred. It cost Robert his career. It put the firms reputation on the line. We did that. Together. Because of what's between us. Those are the facts, Harvey.' She says, turning around to face him. He takes another step toward her, face determined. 'Donna. Did you ever think that the reason those things happened, was because we hadn't *faced* what is between us?' He says, looking at her steadily. Donna sighs. 'Yes. I know it was.' She says softly. He takes another step toward her. 'Things are different now. We are together, and we are stronger because of it, the both of us. We won't make those same mistakes.' He says, something almost pleading in his voice. Donna shakes her head. 'That's not the *point*! The mistakes we made.. that *I* made, have already happened! I need to atone for them. Do you understand, how *guilty* I feel for what's happened? For Robert? It was *my* fault! I did that, and the stupidest thing is that I don't even know why anymore! I thought I was doing the right thing, but I wasn't. And now we are in this mess.' She finishes, her voice tapering off from anger to tiredness. Harvey doesn't say anything right away, just looks at her, at her defeated posture, her misery radiating from her. 'What are you saying, Donna?' He says quietly, needing to hear her say it. She fixes her gaze on some point over his right shoulder. 'I'm saying...' she begins, voice sad. '...I'm saying that I think we should take some time. To think about this. About what she said.' She says, still not looking at him. 'To think about this. You mean us?' He says, his voice hardening. She looks at him helplessly. 'I'm just saying.. I don't know what I'm saying.' She says, shaking her head, looking down at her hands clasped tensely in front of her. She hears him sigh. 'Well how about you get back to me once you've figured it out.' He spits at her, turning to stride angrily from her office. Her head shoots up. 'Harvey...' but he's already gone.

Donna stands there for a few moments, letting their conversation wash over her. She feels restless, desperate, and the walls of her office suddenly feel not at all like the haven she has created for herself, but like a prison cell. Her body jerks, and she's moving. She's not sure where she's going, her body working on autopilot, all she knows is that she can't *breathe* and she needs to get out. She's not surprised really, when she finds herself on the roof. Of course she'd end up here, it seems only fitting. She lets the door close behind her, and takes a deep breath, walking over to the railing and bracing her hands against it. The events of the last couple of hours run through her mind in chaotic loops, Faye's cold demeanour and hurtful words, the look of hurt in Harvey's eyes when she said they should take some time. Her own eyes squeeze shut at that, a few tears slipping down her cold cheeks. She hated that she had hurt him. It's the last thing she ever wanted to do. Things had been *so* good for them lately, they'd settled into this new iteration of their relationship so easily, she had to pinch herself sometimes, just so she knew it was all real. Of all the lies she'd told herself and him over the years, the biggest one was that she hadn't wanted this with him. She had. She *always* had. She knew it could be good, so good. And it was, it finally was. She knew he was in this, just as much as she was. God, what was she *doing*? Was she really going to let this woman come in and tell her how to live her life? No. Not for one more second. She had to find Harvey. She swiped at her wet cheeks, and spun around determinedly, only to be met with the unexpected but incredibly welcome sight of the very man she was going to find, standing in front of the door. His hands were in his pockets, and he was looking at her, an expression on his face, that she couldn't quite determine.

'Harvey. I was just coming to find you, I..' that was as far as she got before he came toward her in three quick strides, taking her face in his hands, and slanting his mouth over her own in a bruising kiss. She stood, stunned, and not moving for a few seconds, before she bought her hands up to his chest to grasp his shirt in her hands, and kissed him back. It was over as quick as it started, and she stared up at him with wide eyes. He looked at her, a fierce expression on his face. 'You are going to listen to me. I let you talk earlier, and now it's my turn. I don't want you to interrupt until I'm done, understand?' He says, voice low. She nods, wordlessly. He takes a breath. 'I've made a lot of mistakes with you over the years, Donna. I know I have. I was always so Goddamn terrified of losing you, that I managed to push you away anyway. I've been selfish, and weak and to terrified to face up to what I feel for you, because what I feel for you is.. everything. I've always felt that for you, even though I could never admit it to myself...let alone you. Now that we are together, I've never been so happy before. You *make* me happy. You always have. I've made the mistake of not fighting for you before, not fighting for *this*...' he holds up their hands, clasped tightly together. '... but I won't do that again. I won't make that same mistake. It took us so long to get here. I'm not letting anyone get in the way of it. Not ever again.' He finishes, voice hoarse. She can feel the tears trickling down her cheeks. It's always such a shock to her, how open he is with her now, how emotionally available. It never fails to take her breath away. She pulls her hands out of his, and sees a quick flash of panic wash over his face, before she cradles his face between her hands. She smiles up at him tremulously. 'Harvey Specter. You never cease to amaze me, you know that?' Her thumbs softly brush over his mouth, and she feels him huff out a small breath. He goes to say something but she stops him with a small shake of her head. 'I was coming to tell you that I didn't care what Faye said. I'm sorry I let her get to me. This...what you and I have; I'm never letting anybody get in the way of that either. It took us long enough, I'm not waiting anymore. Not for anyone.' She watches, as his eyes close in relief. She still has something else to say. She thinks he needs to hear it. 'You are the love of my life, Harvey. You always have been, and you always will be.' She says softly, the conviction of her love for him strong in her voice. He looks at her, his eyes full of wonder. 'I really don't know what I ever did to deserve you, Donna. But I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to earn you. I love you. I love you so goddamn much.' She kisses him then, because really, how could she not? They stand there, wrapped in each other, forgetting everything else for a few precious minutes. Soon they'll go back in and face their future. She knows they'll fight, it's what they do. They'll do it as they've always done it. Together.


End file.
